He's been in touch and says he's gonna repay me the money!
I actually believe he might!
*in shock*
Para xxx
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Saturday, 3 November 2007
Baggage ...
... from other relationships is crap.
I've had to go into work today cos one of me girls was sick.
I've been worried all the way home about whether Mr DeadTree Para had been annoyed about having to spend the day on his own, looking after the furbabies.
Of course he's not though!
My ex hubby would have sulked for three weeks - which is no exaggeration. And despite it being a couple of years now since we were together, there's still hangups from then that have stayed with me.
They'll go eventually though!
Para xxx
I've had to go into work today cos one of me girls was sick.
I've been worried all the way home about whether Mr DeadTree Para had been annoyed about having to spend the day on his own, looking after the furbabies.
Of course he's not though!
My ex hubby would have sulked for three weeks - which is no exaggeration. And despite it being a couple of years now since we were together, there's still hangups from then that have stayed with me.
They'll go eventually though!
Para xxx
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Life Sucks
OK, so this is a purely self-indulgent post, cos I feel crap and I'm trying to feel better.
Last week a very close friend lost her first baby before he was even born. She was three weeks off her due date.
OK, so life's unfair - but that's just bloody cruel.
I just can't bear to think of what she and her hubby are going through. I try and imagine how she must be feeling, but how can anything that's ever happened to me even compare to the pain of losing a baby?
And anything I could say to her just sounds so bloody pathetic and useless. And I feel like I want her to know that I really do feel for them both, but then I feel selfish because isn't that my need that's being met, not necessarily hers? But if I don't tell her how I feel then maybe she'll think I'm unfeeling and uncaring. So I get all confused and upset.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. All I know is my friend must be going through hell, and I feel helpless and useless because there's nothing I can say or do to help alleviate the pain. I can deal with the crap that's dealt to me, cos I'm so often at the receiving end of it - I'm finding it hard to deal with the crap that's been dealt to my friend.
Answers on a comment please.
Para xxx
Last week a very close friend lost her first baby before he was even born. She was three weeks off her due date.
OK, so life's unfair - but that's just bloody cruel.
I just can't bear to think of what she and her hubby are going through. I try and imagine how she must be feeling, but how can anything that's ever happened to me even compare to the pain of losing a baby?
And anything I could say to her just sounds so bloody pathetic and useless. And I feel like I want her to know that I really do feel for them both, but then I feel selfish because isn't that my need that's being met, not necessarily hers? But if I don't tell her how I feel then maybe she'll think I'm unfeeling and uncaring. So I get all confused and upset.
I'm not sure how I'm supposed to feel. All I know is my friend must be going through hell, and I feel helpless and useless because there's nothing I can say or do to help alleviate the pain. I can deal with the crap that's dealt to me, cos I'm so often at the receiving end of it - I'm finding it hard to deal with the crap that's been dealt to my friend.
Answers on a comment please.
Para xxx
Tuesday, 30 October 2007
How Did I Ever Cope ...
... Without my cats?
What an excellent form of stress relief they are. Lots of cuddles from Fidge and lots of playtime with them with their vast assortment of toys!
Couldn't be without them now. I can let them out now they've had their second injections, but it scares me that I might lose them :-( But I don't want them to be stuck in the house all the time.
Para xxx
What an excellent form of stress relief they are. Lots of cuddles from Fidge and lots of playtime with them with their vast assortment of toys!
Couldn't be without them now. I can let them out now they've had their second injections, but it scares me that I might lose them :-( But I don't want them to be stuck in the house all the time.
Fidget likes to dip his paws in my bath!
Whispy's just so dainty and cute!
Para xxx
Belly Button Piercing
It's gone.
It was getting sorer and sorer, and kept oozing manky coloured stuff.
Maybe I'll get me nipple done next?
Or perhaps a labia piercing?
Neither of which I would photograph and put on here, so don't get yourself all excited Oldy - it's dangerous at your age you know.
Para xxx
It was getting sorer and sorer, and kept oozing manky coloured stuff.
Maybe I'll get me nipple done next?
Or perhaps a labia piercing?
Neither of which I would photograph and put on here, so don't get yourself all excited Oldy - it's dangerous at your age you know.
Para xxx
Snoring
Would the person who has said I snore on the poll, please 'fess up?!
In all my 38 years I have never been accused of snoring until now. Mr DeadTree Para says I snore! And that I keep him awake!
Personally, I think Bobo's responsible.
Para xxx
In all my 38 years I have never been accused of snoring until now. Mr DeadTree Para says I snore! And that I keep him awake!
Personally, I think Bobo's responsible.
Para xxx
Monday, 29 October 2007
Bobo Has a Friend!
Mr DeadTree Para bought me a new doggy for sleeping with. This is because, along with the duvet, he robs Bobo at night!
So Bobo now has a new pal, Dylan!
Bobo's the mucky one on the right of the pic! Dylan's nice and clean and soft!
Para xxx
So Bobo now has a new pal, Dylan!
Bobo's the mucky one on the right of the pic! Dylan's nice and clean and soft!
Para xxx
If I Love Being at Home Alone ...
... why do I miss Mr Para DeadTree so much when he's not here?
Para xxx
Para xxx
My Hats - Part Two!! :-)
And there's even more hats ...
This is one of my fave winter ones. Keeps your ears nice and warm, and of course you can either chew the dangly bits - or be strangled by Mr Para as you walk along! (This hasn't happened as yet, but I so know it will - or he'll pull me along with the dangly bits!) 
Given to me by my good pals G&K as a Christmas gift last year. It has had one or two outings, is very nice, and is one of those ethical-type garments, but not quite as comfy as the previous one. 
Of course, there's the winter ones:
This is one of my fave winter ones. Keeps your ears nice and warm, and of course you can either chew the dangly bits - or be strangled by Mr Para as you walk along! (This hasn't happened as yet, but I so know it will - or he'll pull me along with the dangly bits!)A similar one is:
Given to me by my good pals G&K as a Christmas gift last year. It has had one or two outings, is very nice, and is one of those ethical-type garments, but not quite as comfy as the previous one. And here are my other winter ones:
The last one is about 24 years old ... eeeek! I feel sooooo old!
And then finally, there's my Simply Red cap, which I've had for years too:
Which is even more special, now that they've announced that they're splitting up.
Thanks to the Polar Bear (a Christmas pressie from a student a few years ago) for modelling the hats so beautifully!
Para xxx
Sunday, 21 October 2007
My Hats :-)
This is dedicated jointly to Mr DeadTree Para and NotGeoffrey, both of whom very much dislike my blue denim hat!!!
When I was in Florida last Christmas, the oldies found me a blue denim hat which they loved on me - but it was too big, so when I found this denim one I was delighted that it fits! One of my students says I look like a young Twiggy in it!!! At least someone has something positive to say about it!
And, with hair like mine, bad hair days are frequent - so a hat hides this! And if you're out for the evening and sleep over somewhere and don't have time for a shower in the morning, you can just put a hat on and look vaguely presentable!
No, I don't do belly dancing - although I do have the belly for it! (Sadly, now minus the belly piercing due to too much ooze coming out of it).
I saw this when I was in Florida and it just appealed to me!
Now this is my Mickey Mouse hat - it was very sunny in Florida and I didn't have a hat to protect my head, so bought this. The black scarf round it has small Mickey Mouse logos on it! When I met Mickey Mouse, he pointed to my hat and gave it a thumbs up!
This is my fave - cos it's red of course!!!
That's all for now cos Coronation Street Beckons and it takes a bloomin age to get pics on here!!
Para xxx
When I was in Florida last Christmas, the oldies found me a blue denim hat which they loved on me - but it was too big, so when I found this denim one I was delighted that it fits! One of my students says I look like a young Twiggy in it!!! At least someone has something positive to say about it!
And, with hair like mine, bad hair days are frequent - so a hat hides this! And if you're out for the evening and sleep over somewhere and don't have time for a shower in the morning, you can just put a hat on and look vaguely presentable!
I have, on my phone, a picture of the delightful NG wearing this hat (also the lovely Woody as well) and when I've worked out how to get the pics from my phone to my computer, I may publish it! hehehehehe!!
This is my bellydancer's hat:
No, I don't do belly dancing - although I do have the belly for it! (Sadly, now minus the belly piercing due to too much ooze coming out of it).
I saw this when I was in Florida and it just appealed to me!
Now this is my Mickey Mouse hat - it was very sunny in Florida and I didn't have a hat to protect my head, so bought this. The black scarf round it has small Mickey Mouse logos on it! When I met Mickey Mouse, he pointed to my hat and gave it a thumbs up!
This is my fave - cos it's red of course!!!
That's all for now cos Coronation Street Beckons and it takes a bloomin age to get pics on here!!
Para xxx
Friday, 5 October 2007
That's Shocking!!!
Only five posts in September! Am always thinking about what to blog next - so ideas are welcome!
I think my next one will be about my hats, in honour of NotGeoffrey and Mr DeadTree Para!
Para xxx
I think my next one will be about my hats, in honour of NotGeoffrey and Mr DeadTree Para!
Para xxx
Sunday, 23 September 2007
Woman Wanted ...
... now hold on a mo Mr Dead Tree! It's not what you're hoping!
I know you're wishing for me to get it on with another woman (preferably Flutters) and for you to be able to watch!
But no, I'm actually putting out a request for any women who might want a male bit on the side, or a casual shag and who happen to be in Lancashire.
And the request is for MM1. Who is very obviously missing my charms!
So, any takers - please email!
Para xxx
I know you're wishing for me to get it on with another woman (preferably Flutters) and for you to be able to watch!
But no, I'm actually putting out a request for any women who might want a male bit on the side, or a casual shag and who happen to be in Lancashire.
And the request is for MM1. Who is very obviously missing my charms!
So, any takers - please email!
Para xxx
Wednesday, 12 September 2007
Talking About Husbands ...
... I married my first at 22.
My second, I wed at 33.
So by my reckoning I've another six years to save up for my next wedding!
Not that I intend ever getting married again!
But then again, I suppose you should never say never!
Para xxx
My second, I wed at 33.
So by my reckoning I've another six years to save up for my next wedding!
Not that I intend ever getting married again!
But then again, I suppose you should never say never!
Para xxx
The First Ex ...
... was my childhood sweetheart I guess.
He was so handsome, I couldn't really believed that this gorgeous blond muscly bloke wanted anything to do with someone as ugly as me.
He wrote in his CSE English paper that he was going to marry me. And he did. When I was 22 and he was 23.
But I wasn't enough for him and he looked elsewhere.
Early on in our marriage I developed a medical condition which made sex very painful for me. Unfortunately, he was very highly sexed and when I said 'no' to him, rows would develop and he would be verbally nasty towards me. He really couldn't comprehend the amount of pain it left me in.
So, in the end I used to just let him have what he wanted - despite the pain and despite me not wanting to have sex because of the pain. It was easier to give in to his demands than live with the verbal abuse I'd get otherwise.
Every few months there would be a huge argument and I'd threaten to leave unless he changed his ways regarding the sex. I couldn't be absolutely sure about the other woman - there were rumours and I was suspicious, so we never actually rowed about that. He'd promise to be more understanding about my pain - and he would be for a little while. And then he'd just revert to his old ways.
However, there came a time when I think he realised that I might actually go through with my threat of leaving him. He was in the process of leaving the army and was living up North, I was living down South with friends until he'd found a job. My plan then was to go back up North, find a job and leave him. He'd come down at weekends to see me. One weekend he wouldn't let me out of the tiny boxroom I stayed in, unless it was to go to the toilet. And even then he stood outside - scared in case I tried to escape I guess. As he had been an Army boxer, his whole physicality was very threatening.
And then it was time for me to return up North. By this time I'd developed a friendship with the man who would eventually become my second ex-husband! Ex No 1 discovered this and there was hell to pay!
He raped me. More than once. He refuses to believe that he actually did this. But one time he threatened that if I didn't "buck back" he'd kill me. He beat me up.
Another time he held me prisoner in a room. He again threatened to kill me "one punch and you'll be dead" was one of the threats I received. He cut up all my clothes and some treasured photographs. He damaged presents I'd received from other people.
By the time we went to Court for me to get an injunction out against him, I owned a pair of white jeans, a cream jumper and a pair of Doc Marten boots. He actually looked more injured than me when we got there. I had, quite accidentally, in the middle of him beating me up managed to elbow him in the eye - so he was sporting a wonderful black eye! When he'd raped me, he'd held my arms down and the only way I could defend myself was by biting his cheek - I believe he still bears the scars to this day!
Surprisingly, we're now friends (although I know he'll be cross with me if he reads this). His uncle was quite ill, which prompted me to get in touch with Ex Hubby No 1 - just in case we had to encounter each other at the uncle's funeral (thankfully it never came to that!!)
We annoy each other, fall out with each other, take the piss out of each other, don't talk to each other for days - yet we both know that, actually, we'll always be there for each other.
Life's weird isn't it?
Para xxx
He was so handsome, I couldn't really believed that this gorgeous blond muscly bloke wanted anything to do with someone as ugly as me.
He wrote in his CSE English paper that he was going to marry me. And he did. When I was 22 and he was 23.
But I wasn't enough for him and he looked elsewhere.
Early on in our marriage I developed a medical condition which made sex very painful for me. Unfortunately, he was very highly sexed and when I said 'no' to him, rows would develop and he would be verbally nasty towards me. He really couldn't comprehend the amount of pain it left me in.
So, in the end I used to just let him have what he wanted - despite the pain and despite me not wanting to have sex because of the pain. It was easier to give in to his demands than live with the verbal abuse I'd get otherwise.
Every few months there would be a huge argument and I'd threaten to leave unless he changed his ways regarding the sex. I couldn't be absolutely sure about the other woman - there were rumours and I was suspicious, so we never actually rowed about that. He'd promise to be more understanding about my pain - and he would be for a little while. And then he'd just revert to his old ways.
However, there came a time when I think he realised that I might actually go through with my threat of leaving him. He was in the process of leaving the army and was living up North, I was living down South with friends until he'd found a job. My plan then was to go back up North, find a job and leave him. He'd come down at weekends to see me. One weekend he wouldn't let me out of the tiny boxroom I stayed in, unless it was to go to the toilet. And even then he stood outside - scared in case I tried to escape I guess. As he had been an Army boxer, his whole physicality was very threatening.
And then it was time for me to return up North. By this time I'd developed a friendship with the man who would eventually become my second ex-husband! Ex No 1 discovered this and there was hell to pay!
He raped me. More than once. He refuses to believe that he actually did this. But one time he threatened that if I didn't "buck back" he'd kill me. He beat me up.
Another time he held me prisoner in a room. He again threatened to kill me "one punch and you'll be dead" was one of the threats I received. He cut up all my clothes and some treasured photographs. He damaged presents I'd received from other people.
By the time we went to Court for me to get an injunction out against him, I owned a pair of white jeans, a cream jumper and a pair of Doc Marten boots. He actually looked more injured than me when we got there. I had, quite accidentally, in the middle of him beating me up managed to elbow him in the eye - so he was sporting a wonderful black eye! When he'd raped me, he'd held my arms down and the only way I could defend myself was by biting his cheek - I believe he still bears the scars to this day!
Surprisingly, we're now friends (although I know he'll be cross with me if he reads this). His uncle was quite ill, which prompted me to get in touch with Ex Hubby No 1 - just in case we had to encounter each other at the uncle's funeral (thankfully it never came to that!!)
We annoy each other, fall out with each other, take the piss out of each other, don't talk to each other for days - yet we both know that, actually, we'll always be there for each other.
Life's weird isn't it?
Para xxx
I Had Kinda Forgotten That ...
... falling for someone also means that you open yourself up to being hurt or upset by the one you've fallen for.
And why, after two marriages and the manfest I've indulged in this year, do I still not really understand blokes?! And why am I not hardened to it? Damn, I'm such a girl!
I dunno if he's grumpy/tired cos of work/pissed off with me! I don't know him that well enough to be able to judge his moods. In some respects it seems like he's always been there, in others it's still that voyage of discovery of someone new and all their idiosyncrasies.
Then there's that fleeting moment when I think that he never wants to see me again. And it scares me. And I hate myself for allowing myself to feel so vulnerable, cos all I want to do is feel secure and in control.
And it's the part of me that wants control that needs controlling!! If that makes any sense! As it makes me fantasise about things I could do to feel in control - and actually, those things aren't good things! And I'm not going to explain any further as I can't bring myself to type them down, cos they're too hurtful. And the one who matters knows me well enough to guess what I mean.
However, I've received an apology - and that makes me feel better.
Para xxx
And why, after two marriages and the manfest I've indulged in this year, do I still not really understand blokes?! And why am I not hardened to it? Damn, I'm such a girl!
I dunno if he's grumpy/tired cos of work/pissed off with me! I don't know him that well enough to be able to judge his moods. In some respects it seems like he's always been there, in others it's still that voyage of discovery of someone new and all their idiosyncrasies.
Then there's that fleeting moment when I think that he never wants to see me again. And it scares me. And I hate myself for allowing myself to feel so vulnerable, cos all I want to do is feel secure and in control.
And it's the part of me that wants control that needs controlling!! If that makes any sense! As it makes me fantasise about things I could do to feel in control - and actually, those things aren't good things! And I'm not going to explain any further as I can't bring myself to type them down, cos they're too hurtful. And the one who matters knows me well enough to guess what I mean.
However, I've received an apology - and that makes me feel better.
Para xxx
Sunday, 2 September 2007
Mad Bra!
Nope, this isn't one of my bonkers dreams!
I went looking for a strapless bra last week. I'm going to a wedding next weekend, and I have this gorgeous strappy dress (red of course!!) so I need scaffolding with no straps.
Whisper keeps disappearing and we can't find her - I think that the bra might actually be her hiding place!! I can't get the full effect photographically, but it is like a monument to my breasts!! I can't believe that my breasts actually fit in there.
Gonna have to have a trial run wearing it though! It's a seriously scary bra!
Para xxx
Monday, 27 August 2007
An Amazing Feeling ...
... doing a week's work, then coming home and being able to spend the weekend doing whatever I like.
No prepping.
More importantly, no bloody marking.
Much as I loved being a lecturer, working on vocational subjects, with kids who have behavioural problems, can barely string a sentence together despite having five or more GCSEs, who have little interest in the subject and with a management team who won't allow the little darlings to fail - the marking is a major issue.
And it's gone. No more. Yaaaaay!
Para xxx (Who's v much enjoying having her life back!!)
No prepping.
More importantly, no bloody marking.
Much as I loved being a lecturer, working on vocational subjects, with kids who have behavioural problems, can barely string a sentence together despite having five or more GCSEs, who have little interest in the subject and with a management team who won't allow the little darlings to fail - the marking is a major issue.
And it's gone. No more. Yaaaaay!
Para xxx (Who's v much enjoying having her life back!!)
Thursday, 23 August 2007
Somebody Has Trimmed My Bush!
Outside the front of my home there is a small flower bed with a number of smallish plants in. Can't tell you what they are as I'm useless at gardening and my mum planted most of them!
I had this gorgeous bush whose bright pink flowers had just started to show. It was fairly big - but not blocking out any light, or causing a nuisance or anything. It looked quite beautiful and was quite wild in a way.
I came home from work yesterday - to see that it had been hacked into an incredibly tidy shape. With most of the flowers having been hacked off too.
Not happy. But I really don't know who's done it. And my next door neighbour didn't see anything.
Some strange people about.
It is a mystery - but Super Sleuth Para will get to the bottom of it!!
Para xxx
I had this gorgeous bush whose bright pink flowers had just started to show. It was fairly big - but not blocking out any light, or causing a nuisance or anything. It looked quite beautiful and was quite wild in a way.
I came home from work yesterday - to see that it had been hacked into an incredibly tidy shape. With most of the flowers having been hacked off too.
Not happy. But I really don't know who's done it. And my next door neighbour didn't see anything.
Some strange people about.
It is a mystery - but Super Sleuth Para will get to the bottom of it!!
Para xxx
Flippin' Fed Up :-(
OK, so things with MM1 were finished a while ago and I was pleased that he was understanding about the whole thing.
Only now he doesn't seem to be. Now he keeps wanting sex again. Or a BJ.
And I'm very disappointed that he keeps asking me.
He keeps telling me that Mr DeadTree doesn't need to know. But if I gave into his demands, I'd find it difficult to not tell Mr DeadTree. I'd hate myself. I'd hate MM1 for putting me in that position.
And I don't want it to get to that. I very much value MM1's advice and friendship - and he's been an absolute star this past couple of years, and I really really don't want to lose that.
And my head can do without being messed about like this when I'm just getting it back together again!
Para xxx
Only now he doesn't seem to be. Now he keeps wanting sex again. Or a BJ.
And I'm very disappointed that he keeps asking me.
He keeps telling me that Mr DeadTree doesn't need to know. But if I gave into his demands, I'd find it difficult to not tell Mr DeadTree. I'd hate myself. I'd hate MM1 for putting me in that position.
And I don't want it to get to that. I very much value MM1's advice and friendship - and he's been an absolute star this past couple of years, and I really really don't want to lose that.
And my head can do without being messed about like this when I'm just getting it back together again!
Para xxx
Wow ... Not posted for a Whole Week!
That's because I've started a new job and I'm exhausted!
Having not worked for five months, getting back into the swing of things has been rather tiring! Plus I've had to travel further than I will normally be doing, but that's only going to be for another week. Then I'll be nearer home.
It's going OK so far - am just shadowing my counterpart at the moment, learning the ropes for when I move into the new centre! The ladies who will be working with me all seem to be very competent and very friendly and we can't wait for the new centre to be up and running!
So, I guess I'll not have as much time to write on here! Especially as my life seems to be settling down at the moment - hopefully won't have too many mad stories to tell!
Para xxx
Having not worked for five months, getting back into the swing of things has been rather tiring! Plus I've had to travel further than I will normally be doing, but that's only going to be for another week. Then I'll be nearer home.
It's going OK so far - am just shadowing my counterpart at the moment, learning the ropes for when I move into the new centre! The ladies who will be working with me all seem to be very competent and very friendly and we can't wait for the new centre to be up and running!
So, I guess I'll not have as much time to write on here! Especially as my life seems to be settling down at the moment - hopefully won't have too many mad stories to tell!
Para xxx
Dear Mr TalkTalk ...
... Bobo is very concerned about you and wishes to enquire after your general health and wellbeing?!
Para xxx (On behalf of Bobo)
Para xxx (On behalf of Bobo)
Thursday, 16 August 2007
Noooooooooooooooooooo!
How could Haagen Daaz win?
Such an inferior taste to the creative and tasty Ben and Jerry's!
Dear readers, you've let me down! I am so disappointed!
There's at least 20 votes for HD that should be taken away - cos someone CHEATED!!
Para xxx
Such an inferior taste to the creative and tasty Ben and Jerry's!
Dear readers, you've let me down! I am so disappointed!
There's at least 20 votes for HD that should be taken away - cos someone CHEATED!!
Para xxx
Wednesday, 15 August 2007
Tarot Update Thingy
For those of you who are addicted to my blog (yes, I know there are some of you out there!!) you'll probably recognise this, but I thought I'd look at it in terms of Mr DeadTree!
A NEW LOVER READING
I felt in this reading that you yearn for the excitement and should be careful not to get involved with someone that just feeds your lack of excitement. The right person is around for you and it won’t necessarily be the next one…but they are around now for you…you are near each other you just don’t know about each other.
Well - he does live near me. Well he lives nearer to me than any of the others I'd been seeing!
Will there be a new relationship for me soon?
Well you certainly don’t think there will be a new relationship for you soon. It’s like you are plodding along…with blind folds on not know what you are doing or where you are going. I would say there are things you need to sort out in yourself before you are able to have a new relationship.
Almost sorted out - just working on the insecurities!
Although….I would say you will meet them with something to do with water.
Can't think of any connection with water!
What astrological sign will this person be?
Not sure either here…I would say they are possibly Taurus but it’s not that clear.
Naaaa, he's not a Taurean!
Will we be compatible?
Not really. There is boredom here. It’s like you meet someone and through the lack of any other better offers you are with them. However it is important that you look around all the time because the one for you is around you now you just don’t see them. (Nor do they see you) when you eventually meet you will realise that you have been around each other before.
Well, as I say - he was nearer to me than any other blokes I'd been seeing! But I don't think we've been around each other before! Not sure about the boredom bit either. Never seen someone who bores me! And I was looking round all the time before Mr DeadTree!
Will this be a lasting relationship?
Yes. It’s a lovely relationship that will last time for you.
I hope so!
Will this person be my soul mate?
Yes although you may think they are a little too stubborn and boring but really they are just what you need. You need the grounding affect and this is what this person will give you.
Now, I don't think for one minute that he's boring! But I think he may be a bit stubborn - or maybe that's too strong a word for it! Maybe he knows what he wants and is firm about it! But I do think he'll have a grounding effect on me. God knows what effect I'll have on him! Not altogether sure I believe in soulmates anyway!
What is the outcome of my desire?
Lovely.
Ooooh, I hope it remains so!
I'm a soppy old Para aren't I?!
Para xxx
A NEW LOVER READING
I felt in this reading that you yearn for the excitement and should be careful not to get involved with someone that just feeds your lack of excitement. The right person is around for you and it won’t necessarily be the next one…but they are around now for you…you are near each other you just don’t know about each other.
Well - he does live near me. Well he lives nearer to me than any of the others I'd been seeing!
Will there be a new relationship for me soon?
Well you certainly don’t think there will be a new relationship for you soon. It’s like you are plodding along…with blind folds on not know what you are doing or where you are going. I would say there are things you need to sort out in yourself before you are able to have a new relationship.
Almost sorted out - just working on the insecurities!
Although….I would say you will meet them with something to do with water.
Can't think of any connection with water!
What astrological sign will this person be?
Not sure either here…I would say they are possibly Taurus but it’s not that clear.
Naaaa, he's not a Taurean!
Will we be compatible?
Not really. There is boredom here. It’s like you meet someone and through the lack of any other better offers you are with them. However it is important that you look around all the time because the one for you is around you now you just don’t see them. (Nor do they see you) when you eventually meet you will realise that you have been around each other before.
Well, as I say - he was nearer to me than any other blokes I'd been seeing! But I don't think we've been around each other before! Not sure about the boredom bit either. Never seen someone who bores me! And I was looking round all the time before Mr DeadTree!
Will this be a lasting relationship?
Yes. It’s a lovely relationship that will last time for you.
I hope so!
Will this person be my soul mate?
Yes although you may think they are a little too stubborn and boring but really they are just what you need. You need the grounding affect and this is what this person will give you.
Now, I don't think for one minute that he's boring! But I think he may be a bit stubborn - or maybe that's too strong a word for it! Maybe he knows what he wants and is firm about it! But I do think he'll have a grounding effect on me. God knows what effect I'll have on him! Not altogether sure I believe in soulmates anyway!
What is the outcome of my desire?
Lovely.
Ooooh, I hope it remains so!
I'm a soppy old Para aren't I?!
Para xxx
Went into Work Today ...
... to collect my belongings.
Fortunately there was no-one in apart from security and admin.
Definitely an occasion of mixed feelings. Glad to be going. Desperately sad that the job I loved so much turned out to be so bad. Sad that I've lost someone who used to be such a good friend.
But, I've learned not to place so much emphasis on a job. It was so much part of my identity, I loved it so much, and I was so proud that little old me was doing such a job. But it took too much out of me and my personal life is going to be more important than my professional life from here on in. (Mr DeadTree, you have my permission to bollock me if I start getting too involved with my job!!)
Strange day.
Para xxx
Fortunately there was no-one in apart from security and admin.
Definitely an occasion of mixed feelings. Glad to be going. Desperately sad that the job I loved so much turned out to be so bad. Sad that I've lost someone who used to be such a good friend.
But, I've learned not to place so much emphasis on a job. It was so much part of my identity, I loved it so much, and I was so proud that little old me was doing such a job. But it took too much out of me and my personal life is going to be more important than my professional life from here on in. (Mr DeadTree, you have my permission to bollock me if I start getting too involved with my job!!)
Strange day.
Para xxx
Mr DeadTree ...
... aaaaaaw, how lovely he is. He's been away for a week. He bought me a Simply Red DVD to keep me company whilst he was away! Now that's real devotion - being seen buying a Simply Red DVD! Takes some guts that does!
And I've had loads of postcards from him whilst he's been away. Even Fidget and Whisper got one!
If I'm honest, I didn't really miss him for the first couple of days - but I guess that's cos we don't see each other every day anyway. But then I got a drunken phone call. And boy did I miss him after that! It's funny how quickly I've got used to him being there, it's like he's always been around yet I'm still getting to know him. Must have a look at the Tarot reading and see if there's anything in there that I can recognise in him!
And, ohmigod, the kittens missed him! Especially Whisper - she's not cuddled me all week. Then as soon as she sees him and he goes back home, she comes and cuddles me! Definitely daddy's girl!
He was coming back off his hols today - but I didn't expect to see him today. It's a long journey, so I reckoned he'd go straight home. But noooooo, there I was just settling down for a snooze when there was a knock at the front door and a gorgeous tanned face appeared at the window (he really does suit having a bit of a tan!!)
So I'm one happy Para at the moment! Felt a bit deflated after he'd gone though, to be honest! Didn't want him to go! Wanted him to stay! Definitely must practise my kidnapping skills!
Para xxx
PS - and we had pressies! Fudge and choccy for me! Toys for the furbabies!
Exercise Whilst You Earn!
Well, that's what I've been doing these past few days!
Delivering leaflets for a takeaway in a local town. £140 for 2000 leaflets. It was supposed to be about 25 hours work, but I managed it in eleven and a half (thank goodness for terraced houses - makes delivering sooooo much easier!)
It was a good way to: a. make some money; b. get some exercise (never realised quite what a hilly town it was!); c. get to know the local town a bit better; and d. have a right old nosey at people's houses and gardens!
Got some great ideas! And if I was ever to move to that town - I know whereabouts I'd be looking!
Actually, it got me to thinking did all this walking down streets etc. My parents' first house was a semi-detached, three bedroomed home with a good sized garden and a garage. And they were able to buy that on my dad's salary as an electrician - not a fantastic salary. And it was in a good and popular area of town.
And here's me, supposedly in a 'profession' with a good salary - and I'd be hard pushed to afford a terraced house in a half-way decent area! Somet's not right somewhere. Guess I'll stay renting for the foreseeable - at least me rent's cheap!!
So, back to the leaflet delivering. What were the bad parts of it? Well, there was being chased down the road by an angry householder! Narrowly avoiding have me fingers bitten by numerous dogs! Scraping me knuckles and hand on a variety of letter boxes - my DNA is on hundreds of houses now! Walking up flights of stone steps to houses, only to discover a sticker on the letter box saying "no junk mail".
Actually, it's amazing the variety of stickers:
"Neighbourhood Watch";
"In the interests of crime prevention, please ensure all leaflets and newspapers are pushed through the letterbox" (like where else am I gonna push them?);
"No salesmen - we do not buy at this door" (I kept thinking 'OK, well, do you buy at the back door?);
"If you are a salesman, an appointment will be needed and a written recording made of our conversation";
"no junk mail";
"This is a good neighbour area";
"Burglars beware - our property is postcoded" (this confused me at first if I'm honest - cos all properties are postcoded! Took me a little while to work that one out!)
Some people had loads of stickers on their front door - it was amazing! And they weren't home-made stickers, they were all official stickers from the local Police and Trading Standards. But what were really really annoying, were the houses that had the "no junk mail" stickers - on the front window! And I only saw it AFTER I'd posted the leaflet as I had to walk past the door to see the sticker in the window, grrrrrrr. And I thought I was daft!
But I did find a lovely little bakery in a back street! And I had a couple of nice chats with people! I'd definitely do it again! Actually, I'd get Mr DeadTree Para to help me (and split the earnings of course!!) Heehee!!
Para xxx
Delivering leaflets for a takeaway in a local town. £140 for 2000 leaflets. It was supposed to be about 25 hours work, but I managed it in eleven and a half (thank goodness for terraced houses - makes delivering sooooo much easier!)
It was a good way to: a. make some money; b. get some exercise (never realised quite what a hilly town it was!); c. get to know the local town a bit better; and d. have a right old nosey at people's houses and gardens!
Got some great ideas! And if I was ever to move to that town - I know whereabouts I'd be looking!
Actually, it got me to thinking did all this walking down streets etc. My parents' first house was a semi-detached, three bedroomed home with a good sized garden and a garage. And they were able to buy that on my dad's salary as an electrician - not a fantastic salary. And it was in a good and popular area of town.
And here's me, supposedly in a 'profession' with a good salary - and I'd be hard pushed to afford a terraced house in a half-way decent area! Somet's not right somewhere. Guess I'll stay renting for the foreseeable - at least me rent's cheap!!
So, back to the leaflet delivering. What were the bad parts of it? Well, there was being chased down the road by an angry householder! Narrowly avoiding have me fingers bitten by numerous dogs! Scraping me knuckles and hand on a variety of letter boxes - my DNA is on hundreds of houses now! Walking up flights of stone steps to houses, only to discover a sticker on the letter box saying "no junk mail".
Actually, it's amazing the variety of stickers:
"Neighbourhood Watch";
"In the interests of crime prevention, please ensure all leaflets and newspapers are pushed through the letterbox" (like where else am I gonna push them?);
"No salesmen - we do not buy at this door" (I kept thinking 'OK, well, do you buy at the back door?);
"If you are a salesman, an appointment will be needed and a written recording made of our conversation";
"no junk mail";
"This is a good neighbour area";
"Burglars beware - our property is postcoded" (this confused me at first if I'm honest - cos all properties are postcoded! Took me a little while to work that one out!)
Some people had loads of stickers on their front door - it was amazing! And they weren't home-made stickers, they were all official stickers from the local Police and Trading Standards. But what were really really annoying, were the houses that had the "no junk mail" stickers - on the front window! And I only saw it AFTER I'd posted the leaflet as I had to walk past the door to see the sticker in the window, grrrrrrr. And I thought I was daft!
But I did find a lovely little bakery in a back street! And I had a couple of nice chats with people! I'd definitely do it again! Actually, I'd get Mr DeadTree Para to help me (and split the earnings of course!!) Heehee!!
Para xxx
Tuesday, 14 August 2007
Mr TalkTalk
Have you been cheating with the poll, just so it goes your way?
Naughty.
Very naughty.
Custody of Bobo? No chance!!
Para xxx
Naughty.
Very naughty.
Custody of Bobo? No chance!!
Para xxx
Friday, 10 August 2007
Either ...
... the poll thing ain't working, or nobody's having a go at it!
When I try and vote, it won't let me :-(
Para xxx
(who prefers B&J)
(Preferably Half-Baked, or Cookie Dough, or Phish Food!)
(Or even better a Wich, mmmmmmmmmm!)
When I try and vote, it won't let me :-(
Para xxx
(who prefers B&J)
(Preferably Half-Baked, or Cookie Dough, or Phish Food!)
(Or even better a Wich, mmmmmmmmmm!)
Thanks Bobo ...
For being my lucky mascot when I went for my job interview yesterday!
I hid him in my handbag of course!
Anyway - he brought me luck cos I got the job! Weeeeeyheeeeeey!
As a treat he's been washed again today!
I hid him in my handbag of course!
Anyway - he brought me luck cos I got the job! Weeeeeyheeeeeey!
As a treat he's been washed again today!
Also, thank you to MM1 for the support he gave me!!
And thank you to Mr TalkTalk for suggesting I take Bobo - and also for texting me to wish me luck (which was very much appreciated).
Para xxx
Monday, 6 August 2007
Cooking!
Yaaaaaaaay! I've cooked!
Yes, I know I've cooked before - but that's been for other people, because they've been visiting. I can't actually remember the last time I cooked just for me!
I've made a curry, and admittedly I used sauce from a bottle, but I put fresh veggies and chicken in!
There's so much of it, I'll have to eat it all week now! Well except for tomorrow as I'm taking Mr DeadTree out for tea before he goes away on his holidays!
Para xxx
PS - back on the veggies now; will have to try fruit soon too! I may even give up the Fudge addiction if all goes well! But I bet you I'll put weight on!
Yes, I know I've cooked before - but that's been for other people, because they've been visiting. I can't actually remember the last time I cooked just for me!
I've made a curry, and admittedly I used sauce from a bottle, but I put fresh veggies and chicken in!
There's so much of it, I'll have to eat it all week now! Well except for tomorrow as I'm taking Mr DeadTree out for tea before he goes away on his holidays!
Para xxx
PS - back on the veggies now; will have to try fruit soon too! I may even give up the Fudge addiction if all goes well! But I bet you I'll put weight on!
I've Been to Gigs ...
... Wooooohooooo!
I've been to see bands that aren't Simply Red!
Yes, Mr DeadTree is introducing me to his weird and wonderful musical tastes!
So last week we went to see Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan. Now that was fantastic! He has this really deep, gravelly, gorgeous voice. And she has this sweet, breathy voice. The contrast was amazing. But I did especially like his voice.
http://www.isobelcampbell.com/
Then at weekend we went to see Piney Gir. This was quite amusing. it would have been even more amusing if I hadn't been in such a mardarse mood!!
It was at this club that was filled with people half my age at first! The girls were ever so funny! They all wore frocks that wouldn't have looked out of place in the series Butterflies! And teetered about on their high heels!
I've been to see bands that aren't Simply Red!
Yes, Mr DeadTree is introducing me to his weird and wonderful musical tastes!
So last week we went to see Isobel Campbell and Mark Lanegan. Now that was fantastic! He has this really deep, gravelly, gorgeous voice. And she has this sweet, breathy voice. The contrast was amazing. But I did especially like his voice.
http://www.isobelcampbell.com/
Then at weekend we went to see Piney Gir. This was quite amusing. it would have been even more amusing if I hadn't been in such a mardarse mood!!
It was at this club that was filled with people half my age at first! The girls were ever so funny! They all wore frocks that wouldn't have looked out of place in the series Butterflies! And teetered about on their high heels!
Fortunately, by the time Piney came on stage, I wasn't solely responsible for increasing the average age of people there! She has a lovely voice - and was wearing a gorgeous dress! I really enjoyed her music.
http://www.pineygir.com/
I am being educated musically!! There's some hope for me!! Actually, Mr DeadTree has made me some CDs for my car with music on that he thinks I should listen to/might like. I currently have this song in my head all the time now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-vZlNKlCkg
Para xxx
http://www.pineygir.com/
I am being educated musically!! There's some hope for me!! Actually, Mr DeadTree has made me some CDs for my car with music on that he thinks I should listen to/might like. I currently have this song in my head all the time now!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4-vZlNKlCkg
Para xxx
Bobo (Fidget & Whisper)
I have been accused of abandoning my beloved Bobo! In favour of Fidget and Whisper!
How could I do such a thing?!
Fidget, Whisper and Bobo are the greatest of pals - as my pictures show!
How could I do such a thing?!
Fidget, Whisper and Bobo are the greatest of pals - as my pictures show!
A quick update on the furbabies:
Took them to the vets last week and they're doing OK. He said they were about six weeks old. Fidget seems to have grown quite a bit since he came to me. Whisper is still tiny, but has put on weight. She had to have medicine from the vets (she had a little problem which I don't think she'd like me discussing on here!) This was interesting. Most of it ended up in my face, on the floor, in fact anywhere but inside Whisper!! However, I put it in her milk and she didn't seem to notice!
They're sleeping lots and lots - then having mad half hours of playing! Fidget is a bit of a bully to Whisper with the toys - if Whisper has a toy, then Fidget HAS to have it!! But they're very affectionate with each other, and wash each other and cuddle up to each other a lot. Fidget even goes and covers up Whisper's deposits in the litter tray (despite the fact that Whisper now knows how to do it!)
I could just sit and watch them all day! They're so cute and so amusing! And Mr DeadTree is making a very good dad to them!!
Para xxx
Sunday, 29 July 2007
Fidget and Whisper
So, a couple of days ago I was sat having breakfast in the kitchen when I could hear this awful crying sound. Thinking it was next door's cat, I ignored it as I assumed that my next door neighbour would see to it.
However, it went on and on and on until I could ignore it no longer. I opened the back door and this little bedraggled bundle of grey fur zoomed into the kitchen, and I spotted a tiny little soggy brown kitten peeping from beneath the stone barbecue. It pootled across the yard and into the kitchen.
They were tiny and soaking and shivering. And I'm not entirely sure how they got there! They either:
However, it went on and on and on until I could ignore it no longer. I opened the back door and this little bedraggled bundle of grey fur zoomed into the kitchen, and I spotted a tiny little soggy brown kitten peeping from beneath the stone barbecue. It pootled across the yard and into the kitchen.
They were tiny and soaking and shivering. And I'm not entirely sure how they got there! They either:
- Got dumped in the field behind my house and managed to jump over my fence into the back yard. There's not really anywhere for them to squeeze through. But the tiniest one was in such a state that I don't think she could have jumped.
- Someone has actually, purposely dumped them in my back yard.
- Mummy cat brought them into my yard for shelter. This could be the case as my next door neighbour says she saw a pregnant adult cat come into my yard later on that day. (Bear in mind that the kittens are a few weeks old!)
- My mate C says that Destiny brought them as I need to be responsible for something in my life! And I'm kind of inclined to agree with her as Mr DeadTreePara is a 'cat' person - and there's not really been many men in my life who have been!! Plus I keep on saying I'll get a kitten, but am put off by the dead bird/mice that they may bring in. Or even worse - the live ones!
Mr DeadTreePara suggested some names and we settled on Fidget for the bigger cat: he's always on the go! And Whisper for the smaller cat: because she WAS quiet and subdued - however, now she's as manic as Fidget!
So, Para and Mr DeadTreePara are now the proud parents of two little fur-babies!
Para xxx
PS - it's my first night alone with them tonight - it's a bit scary!
Sunday, 22 July 2007
My Mate Bbibbs ...
... is in hospital.
He's had a heart attack.
And I know he's managing to read TES online from his hospital bed, so am hoping he'll see this too.
Hope you get better soon sunshine. Here's a get well duck for you!
He's had a heart attack.
And I know he's managing to read TES online from his hospital bed, so am hoping he'll see this too.
Hope you get better soon sunshine. Here's a get well duck for you!
Hope you're not letching after all those nurses!
Para xxx
Postcards
Mr DeadTree likes them.
And so he sends them to me, with lovely little things written on them! The one I got on Friday had this on the front:
It just makes me smile!!
Para xxx
PS - No, I'm not going to tell you what he's wrote on the back!!!
And so he sends them to me, with lovely little things written on them! The one I got on Friday had this on the front:
You've got to have
the courage
to close your eyes
and jump in the dark
aware that you may
land on your face
and have to get up
S M I L I N G
After all, you're propably going to have to do it again tomorrow
It just makes me smile!!
Para xxx
PS - No, I'm not going to tell you what he's wrote on the back!!!
Para's Preferred Poetry 3
I'm feeling a little bit sad because someone's ever so slightly upset me, probably unintentionally - but nonetheless, it's made me feel a bit sad.
So am gonna type out one of my fave poems to make me feel better. I used to read this when I was off work last year - it gives me some strength. I have it pinned up on my desk as well at work.
Normally I prefer short, funny poems - mainly because I've not got the patience to read a long one. But the defiance in this poem really does inspire me.
It's by Maya Angelou. I read her first autobiography I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings when I was studying Women's Studies a couple of years ago. I really must get round to reading her other books as she is a remarkable woman.
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like sins,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
For more info on Maya Angelou, visit http://www.mayaangelou.com/
Para xxx
PS - if you're wondering why there's a verse in bold, it's because I particularly like that verse - helped me with the Jem situation as I think her jealousy was the root of my problems.
So am gonna type out one of my fave poems to make me feel better. I used to read this when I was off work last year - it gives me some strength. I have it pinned up on my desk as well at work.
Normally I prefer short, funny poems - mainly because I've not got the patience to read a long one. But the defiance in this poem really does inspire me.
It's by Maya Angelou. I read her first autobiography I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings when I was studying Women's Studies a couple of years ago. I really must get round to reading her other books as she is a remarkable woman.
Still I Rise
You may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may trod me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I'll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
'Cause I walk like I've got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like sins,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I'll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops,
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don't you take it awful hard
'Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines
Diggin' in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I'll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I've got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history's shame
I rise
Up from a past that's rooted in pain
I rise
I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that's wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
For more info on Maya Angelou, visit http://www.mayaangelou.com/
Para xxx
PS - if you're wondering why there's a verse in bold, it's because I particularly like that verse - helped me with the Jem situation as I think her jealousy was the root of my problems.
Fabulous Food ...
... That's what I had on Friday night.
Mr DeadTree is FABULOUS in the kitchen :-)
He made peppers stuffed with potato, leek and goat's cheese - which was gorgeous.
Then there were puff pastry tarts with baked apple, blackcurrant and raspberries on - which were YUMMY!
This man is a gem!
And then he fetched me brekky in bed on Saturday - including a latte, and he hates coffee!
Have never been looked after so well!
Am off for a lie down now to dream gorgeous thoughts about a gorgeous man (and yes I do mean you Mr DeadTree - or Mr Para?!)
Para xxx
Mr DeadTree is FABULOUS in the kitchen :-)
He made peppers stuffed with potato, leek and goat's cheese - which was gorgeous.
Then there were puff pastry tarts with baked apple, blackcurrant and raspberries on - which were YUMMY!
This man is a gem!
And then he fetched me brekky in bed on Saturday - including a latte, and he hates coffee!
Have never been looked after so well!
Am off for a lie down now to dream gorgeous thoughts about a gorgeous man (and yes I do mean you Mr DeadTree - or Mr Para?!)
Para xxx
Tuesday, 17 July 2007
Strange Things Happen To Me on Dates ...
... I've had someone wanting to listen to me wee (eeeeuw), I've been hypnotised - and now I've had my fridge cleaned!
I'll have you know that many people have eaten things from my fridge and have gone on to lead full and healthy lives!
But bless him, Mr DeadTree cleaned my fridge! I didn't know if to think "aaaaaaaw, he feels comfy enough with me to do that" or to feel horrified that someone actually felt the need to clean my fridge!
However, I am thinking of hiring him out for cleaning purposes! I'm sure women would pay good money to see him naked except for a frilly pinny whilst giving their kitchens a good going over!
He cleaned my fridge - how adorable is that? Sigh ...
Para xxx
I'll have you know that many people have eaten things from my fridge and have gone on to lead full and healthy lives!
But bless him, Mr DeadTree cleaned my fridge! I didn't know if to think "aaaaaaaw, he feels comfy enough with me to do that" or to feel horrified that someone actually felt the need to clean my fridge!
However, I am thinking of hiring him out for cleaning purposes! I'm sure women would pay good money to see him naked except for a frilly pinny whilst giving their kitchens a good going over!
He cleaned my fridge - how adorable is that? Sigh ...
Para xxx
I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.
All he asks from me is the food to give him strength
All he ever needs is love and that he knows he'll get
So, I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.
All the pay I need comes shining through his eyes
I dont need no cold water to make me realize that
I love my dog as much as I love you
But you may fade, my dog will always come through.
This soooooo made me giggle when I heard it on the radio today!
Para xxx
I'm Cold Hearted ...
... apparently.
Last week I was accused by two people of being cold-hearted: one knows me very well, the other hardly at all. I was told that I put up an emotional barrier, that I don't let people close to me.
And yet, on the other hand, I'm often accused of being too open! Especially on here!
It's weird!
But I guess that sometimes it is easier to let people get to know the person you want them to know and not the one under the mask. It's difficult when you've had bad experiences of people, to let others close to you. So new people are punished for the sins of the old. Which really isn't fair. But the more you're let down, the more difficult it is to trust.
I've also been told that I have an online persona - which I really wasn't aware of. I thought I was just me - but someone's seen through that!! And when I actually sit and think about it, well yes, I am different to the online me. The online me's gobbier and less sensitive. The real me's more capable of being hurt. Sometimes I guess I get confused as to the boundaries between the two - and that's when I'm in danger of pressing that self-destruct button.
Para xxx
Last week I was accused by two people of being cold-hearted: one knows me very well, the other hardly at all. I was told that I put up an emotional barrier, that I don't let people close to me.
And yet, on the other hand, I'm often accused of being too open! Especially on here!
It's weird!
But I guess that sometimes it is easier to let people get to know the person you want them to know and not the one under the mask. It's difficult when you've had bad experiences of people, to let others close to you. So new people are punished for the sins of the old. Which really isn't fair. But the more you're let down, the more difficult it is to trust.
I've also been told that I have an online persona - which I really wasn't aware of. I thought I was just me - but someone's seen through that!! And when I actually sit and think about it, well yes, I am different to the online me. The online me's gobbier and less sensitive. The real me's more capable of being hurt. Sometimes I guess I get confused as to the boundaries between the two - and that's when I'm in danger of pressing that self-destruct button.
Para xxx
The Nastiest Hot Beverage in the UK Award
Now I like a nice latte me, but generally I'm a tea girl. It's hard to go wrong with tea. Unless the teabag's a really crappy one (like Naafi teabags - eeeuuugh!)
But coffee is sooooooo easy to get wrong. And even when places get it right - they let themselves down by not having brown sugar. McDonald's for example, does a lovely milky latte - but they don't have brown sugar, what's that all about?
And don't get me started on instant coffee - the devil's beverage that one.
But I have to admit that I'm hard-pushed to decide upon who serves the worst coffee - whether it's Ikea or Asda. Talk about bitter - eeeeuuuuw.
Cafes and restaurants should apply for a licence to sell coffee! And these two establishments would definitely not be issued one!
How, in this age of coffee shops, can they get it so wrong? It defies belief.
OK, rant over!
Para xxx
But coffee is sooooooo easy to get wrong. And even when places get it right - they let themselves down by not having brown sugar. McDonald's for example, does a lovely milky latte - but they don't have brown sugar, what's that all about?
And don't get me started on instant coffee - the devil's beverage that one.
But I have to admit that I'm hard-pushed to decide upon who serves the worst coffee - whether it's Ikea or Asda. Talk about bitter - eeeeuuuuw.
Cafes and restaurants should apply for a licence to sell coffee! And these two establishments would definitely not be issued one!
How, in this age of coffee shops, can they get it so wrong? It defies belief.
OK, rant over!
Para xxx
Monday, 16 July 2007
There's Few People I'd Enjoy Standing in the Rain, Eating Chips With ...
... But Mr DeadTree is most definitely one!
A few weeks ago I was going to write about how I didn't think I'd ever hear anyone say "I love you" again. And I was quite sad about it. Various friends tell me they love me - but it's not quite the same!
Anyway, I must've had a snooze and woke up feeling happier, because it never got written.
The whole point of this though, is to say I've met someone very special. He's called Mr DeadTree - on account of him liking dead trees! I've taken him to see my favourite dead tree!
He has a lovely smile and sparkly eyes. He's not a chunky bloke, which is what I usually go for - but he does excellent cuddles! Which goes to show that you should never look for a specific 'type'!
He's incredibly domesticated - and likes looking after me! We've just had date no 6! A whole weekend of it! A wonderful whole weekend of it.
He buys me Fudges and hides them in odd places so I'll suddenly find them! And he does lovely other little romantic gestures which are too lovely to share with you lot!
So, I'm one very happy, loved-up Para at the moment! I shall try my best not to make a mess of this!
Para xxx
A few weeks ago I was going to write about how I didn't think I'd ever hear anyone say "I love you" again. And I was quite sad about it. Various friends tell me they love me - but it's not quite the same!
Anyway, I must've had a snooze and woke up feeling happier, because it never got written.
The whole point of this though, is to say I've met someone very special. He's called Mr DeadTree - on account of him liking dead trees! I've taken him to see my favourite dead tree!
He has a lovely smile and sparkly eyes. He's not a chunky bloke, which is what I usually go for - but he does excellent cuddles! Which goes to show that you should never look for a specific 'type'!
He's incredibly domesticated - and likes looking after me! We've just had date no 6! A whole weekend of it! A wonderful whole weekend of it.
He buys me Fudges and hides them in odd places so I'll suddenly find them! And he does lovely other little romantic gestures which are too lovely to share with you lot!
So, I'm one very happy, loved-up Para at the moment! I shall try my best not to make a mess of this!
Para xxx
Monday, 9 July 2007
Sunday, 8 July 2007
Gammy Big Toe!
That's what I have on my right foot! Mr TalkTalk - read no further, it'll only give you nightmares!
I was born with ingrowing toenails apparantly, so my big toes have never been the most aesthetic digits.
However, when I was about 13 me and a friend were pulling a drawer of my chest of drawers open; I couldn't manage it on my own as it was too stiff. We both left go of the handles at the same time and it dropped on my big toe - OUCH!!!
The toe nail fell off over the next few weeks and it was very very painful. So when it started to grow back it was suggested that i have the toenail removed.
So I went into hospital and had an operation to remove the toenail, and strangely some skin at the side of my toe.
The nail grew back - only now it's three sided. It grows until it gets uncomfortable. Mr TalkTalk, if you've been Para's big brave boy and read up until here, now is definitely the time to look away.
So, I have to yank out both sides (not really visible on the pic as they grow inwards) - this is painful for about a day. Otherwise the sides of it just grow into the skin and hurt me. Then I can cut across the top like a 'normal' toe!
I sometimes get a bit conscious of it because I think people probably think it's a fungal nail infection - it's not!! It's just a gammy big toe!!
Para xxx
I was born with ingrowing toenails apparantly, so my big toes have never been the most aesthetic digits.
However, when I was about 13 me and a friend were pulling a drawer of my chest of drawers open; I couldn't manage it on my own as it was too stiff. We both left go of the handles at the same time and it dropped on my big toe - OUCH!!!
The toe nail fell off over the next few weeks and it was very very painful. So when it started to grow back it was suggested that i have the toenail removed.
So I went into hospital and had an operation to remove the toenail, and strangely some skin at the side of my toe.
The nail grew back - only now it's three sided. It grows until it gets uncomfortable. Mr TalkTalk, if you've been Para's big brave boy and read up until here, now is definitely the time to look away.
So, I have to yank out both sides (not really visible on the pic as they grow inwards) - this is painful for about a day. Otherwise the sides of it just grow into the skin and hurt me. Then I can cut across the top like a 'normal' toe!
I sometimes get a bit conscious of it because I think people probably think it's a fungal nail infection - it's not!! It's just a gammy big toe!!
Para xxx
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