The Toyboy

I know how to show men a good time, me. I spent a very pleasant evening last night entertaining two gorgeous, handsome, lovely 20 somet year old men. They too had a fantastic time. Girls, you want to know the secret of keeping two young men happy?



Spinning plates.



Seriously. Toyboy (also known as my boy) and his mate spent the evening trying to spin plates. His mate worked out how to do it, my boy didn't!

So who is my boy? OK, so he's an ex student of mine. He came to college at 18 having been thrown out of another college. He used to tell me that Lucy Benjamin (ex-Eastenders) was the same age as me and her boyfriend was the same age as him: I used to give him my best Paddington bear stare.

The class he was in was a very special class to me and my colleague D. They were a really lovely, lovely group of people. Lazy - truly unbelievably lazy - but the loveliest of people. Both me and D are still in touch with a number of them, but I'm particularly close to my boy and T, a female whose family have now kind of adopted me!

My memories of Toyboy from college are of being disgusted by his back hair. Now you might be wondering why, as his tutor, I might see his back hair, but whilst my boy used to like to flash his belly hair to all and sundry, it was the way his back hair crept up from above his t-shirt and curled over the top that used to freak me out. I did request that he wear polo necks in my class, but the request fell on deaf ears.

I also remember him, having been egged on by my colleague D, shouting across the LRC at me "Para, do ladies fart?" All the big rufty tufty Public Services lads looked up from their computers at me, you could see them thinking "how's she gonna answer this one?" "I dunno," shouts I, "I'm not a lady!"

And another memory. Final one, honest!!! I was due to take my boy's class, and I tried to walk down the corridor to the class, but I had this dreadful sharp pain in my belly. It was so painful that it made me laugh. I made it to the end of the corridor, before almost collapsing when my boy and another student got hold of me and dragged me back to the staffroom. I was admitted to hospital and my boy kept texting me to make sure I was OK. That's typical of him - he is a very caring man.

So, fast forward to 2005 and my husband's disappeared. My boy gets to find out about this and gets in touch. He's now at university. We get together, he becomes a great source of comfort to me, and inevitably things go further than perhaps they should! However, we soon discover that we are incompatible in that department. He proves to be a worse student in the bedroom than he was in the classroom! As a result of this his nickname for me is Grusum, or Gru for short!

So, apart from a small falling out that I will completely gloss over, we have become the firmest of friends. It's a strange, but enchanting relationship, which I value dearly. There's 15 years between us, but that doesn't matter at all. He comes to see me maybe twice a week and we have so much fun, we're always laughing. We talk for England: we talk about all sorts of things, sex, current affairs, sex, he tells me things about his culture (he's a Muslim), sex, his future, sex, my mad life and then sex again!

We look at strange websites, car websites, dating websites andEbay; he talks to Oldsomeman on MSN! He thinks Oldsome is fab! If you chat to me on MSN, you'll know when he's here cos his picture will be on!

He's shown me how to download music, introduced me to gangsta rap (thanks for that one matey!)asks for my advice on all manner of things I know nothing about (I love the way he thinks I know everything about everything), I've taught him how to make flapjacks and play Scrabble - but I can't teach him how to spin plates! He sends me the sweetest of texts and looks after me whilst I'm feeling ill, and he gives me the bestest of cuddles.

My friends can't understand the relationship. Why is a young man so interested in me without wanting sex? Well apart from the blindingly obvious fact that I'm a wonderful human being - I don't know!! All I do know is that he's very, very special to me. He has been described as being my surrogate son - but I'm sure sons aren't supposed to get their willies out and say "look how hard this is", or indeed grab hold of your breasts and ask you if you've ever thought of having a breast reduction!

I don't know what it's all about! It's just an amazing friendship and he's got me through some really hard times. I do wonder what any man who comes into my life will make of our relationship! And I know he's going to read this, so my boy, I just want to say thank you so much for all you've done for me, you're a very special person and I hope you'll be in my life for a long time to come cos I love you to bits - you're fantastic.

Para xx