Say Tuesday to me!

Such a lot has happened since I last posted, and I'm not even going to bother explaining the title!

Earlier in the week I responded to a thread on the TES website - mainly in jest if I'm honest and I was half hoping Mr Hypnosis would see the message, cos he's a PE teacher in West Yorkshire!

http://www.tes.co.uk/section/staffroom/thread.aspx?story_id=2369730&path=/Personal/

So I emailed Biggles! He mailed me his mobile number and I texted him. We ended up talking for ages on the phone later that night - he's just as much of a chatterbox as me, and as nutty as me! We arranged to go for a meal on the Wednesday evening.

We got on brilliantly - there was such an indescribable connection there. He's like me in that he's very open and he's genuine, and I felt so comfortable talking to him: we were laughing and chatting all evening!

However, after my Mr Hypnosis experience I was a little bit wary of 'connections'. Although it has to be said, this was a much greater connection! The kind of connection where you don't have to try, or pretend, or feel that you need to play silly games. Like it all suddenly made sense that we should be there together. There's already a deep sense of trust and honesty - and I really respect that. I feel like I could tell him absolutely anything and he's not going to judge me.

He invited me to his home, but I asked him to come back to mine. That I wasn't expecting! I hadn't even defuzzed myself! And he was a perfect gentleman! He came back the following two nights and we spent Saturday together. I keep finding out things about him and thinking 'that's just like me'!

It feels so right yet it feels so scarey. Both the depth of feeling I receive from him and feel for him seems like it's too soon, and it scares me that it'll burn itself out before it's had the chance to really begin. He told me he was scared of how strongly he felt for me but said that something this deep couldn't possibly burn out quickly. I find it all quite overwhelming - and it makes me want to cry! Mad or what?

He is completely gorgeous, he has the most wonderful expressive face and eyes and he looks at me in the most amazing way - I just can't describe it! Plus of course there's the cute bum and the muscley arms and gorgeous shoulders - I am obsessed with them shoulders! And the accent! Fantastic! And he says he likes me, a lot! This man is mad!

However, having said that as I'm sat here typing this, I've not heard from him all day! I know he's with his kids, but I'd have expected a quick text :-( And part of me's worried he's come to some harm, as he's previously been a prolific texter. And he had said he's always good at getting back to people with texts.

So it's bye bye MM1 and MM2. I've already told MM2, but not MM1. I don't know if this is going to last three weeks, three months, three years or a lifetime, but it deserves to get my undivided attention, and I intend to fully enjoy it whilst it lasts!

Para xx

PS: Just done the typical girly thing of ringing him. Is busy with the kids, but at least no harm has befallen him! Feel stupid for having rung him though :-(

An Energetic Weekend!

Considering I couldn't actually move on Friday - I've been very energetic this weekend!

I went for a little walk (couple of miles) on Saturday morning as a family friend was in hospital nearby, so I thought it would be rude not to go visit. Particularly as I regularly walk to the hospital anyway.

Then spent an hour in the gym in the company of the lovely T!

And then spent the second consecutive Saturday night with the gorgeous MM2. We better watch out, this could become a bad (but fun!) habit. We walked up the hill. It's a big hill - so big it's nearly a mountain, but not quite! We even ran a little bit! Now that was a shock to the system! Have discovered that my legs are in fine shape, but my lungs are knackered!

Actually, am quite pleased with the way my legs are shaping up at the moment - they're becoming very toned with all this exercise. However, my hips don't half ache sometimes and my right knee's a bit dodgy! It's usually when I'm in bed that my hips ache - it's really painful and I don't understand why they're aching so much.

On Sunday I visited my good friends G&K. They have fairly recently moved to a nearby village and have entered into the spirit of village life by volunteering to deliver some leaflets for the annual garden festival. But rather than volunteer to deliver leaflets to homes in the villages, they'd volunteered to deliver them to the outlying farms and houses!

It made for a fantastic walk though! We saw some beautiful countryside, some equally beautiful homes, discovered a sculpture garden, met some very friendly people, got very wet in the rain and had a fantastic walk!

Mind you, all this exercise hasn't made me sleep any better :-( Any suggestions? Other than a session with the wonderful Mr Hypnosis - which obviously isn't going to happen now!

Para xxx

The Milkman ...

... as previously noted, the boyfriend of my former friend, and colleague, Jem.

I rang Jem to explain what had happened and to tell her boyfriend that I wanted this sorting out.

That evening, I had a nice relaxing bath. I'd just got out and was wrapped up in my big fluffy white bathrobe when there was a knock at the door.

I cautiously open the door, with the chain across, and realise that it's the milkman. I take the chain off and he asks if he can come in, I reply "No". He tells me he wants to ask me about what had happened.

He's roaring drunk and sits down on my front doorstep. He has a pint in one hand, and a fag in the other. I'm sat at the foot of my stairs, still in the bathrobe.

I tell him what happened and he apologises for his son. It's not his place to apologise and I tell him so. I tell him I want an apology from his son. I tell him he's lucky I've not rung the Police. I tell him he needs to go now and he asks me to ring a taxi for him. I can't get a taxi for another hour, so am forced to ring Jem to ask her to come and collect him. Fortunately, for a change, she isn't drunk. Well, actually, she might be, I don't know, it wouldn't be the first time she's driven whilst drunk - and so she comes to collect him.

He can barely stand and this means Jem has to walk to my front door to help him up. "I don't know," she says in a very patronising tone, "this is the last thing Para needs, a drunken man on her doorstep."

10 months later, I'm still awaiting an apology from the milkman's son. I bump into him now and again in the village and it makes me feel uncomfortable - but we don't speak. But then again, we didn't prior to the incident, so why should we now?

Para xx

The Milkman's Son ...

... is probably in his late 30s I guess. Married to a very evil woman with two children.

Anyway, his dad is the 'boyfriend' of my former friend, and colleague, Jem (more on her in later posts!).

Last summer I was sitting up waiting for The Toyboy to come visit me; it was past midnight and I'd put the door on the catch. So, when I heard a knock at the door I assumed that I mustn't have actually put the door on the catch and that it was Toyboy wanting to come in.

So, I go to the door and open it and this big burly man barges his way into my living room. I recognise him as the Milkman's Son and I immediately become concerned, "what's wrong? Has your wife thrown you out?" He just looks at me and shakes his head. "Has something happened to Jem or your dad?" Again he just shakes his head. "What are you doing here then? What do you want?"

"I just wanted to see you," says he. There's something in the tone of his voice - and I don't just mean because of his drunken slurring - that makes me think "Oh shit, I'm in trouble here."

He sits down in the chair and I make him a cup of coffee. I'm wishing Toyboy would hurry up. I sit on the settee. He starts talking about my books, and I politely answer him and I tell him he needs to go before my friend arrives.

He continues talking, then suddenly he launches himself from the chair onto the settee - onto me!

He's trying to kiss me, his hands are going for my boobs. He's a big man and he's very drunk. I kick and I push and I hit for what seems like ages, but was probably only a couple of minutes. But I'm so scared. I know Toyboy'll be here soon, but what if he's late? This man is so strong I don't think I'm going to be able to keep him from getting what he wants.

I give him a last shove and he's caught off balance, falling backwards. He gets up and says "wise move Para, wise move".

And with that, he's gone.

Para x

Shop and Scan

The kids at work take the mick out of me for this - so I'll let you guys have the opportunity to do the same!

I have a little scanner, and every time I buy something I scan it. First of all I scan my name on my scanning sheet, then I scan where I've shopped, then I scan how much I've spent before finally scanning the products.

Why do I do this?

Well every week when I transmit the scanned barcodes, I receive a pound. Whippeeedooo I hear you cry - a whole pound! But for very little effort that amounts to £52 a year. I've also started sending in my petrol VAT receipts and I get £2.50 a month for doing that - that's £27 a year (or it would be if I remembered to send them in!)

So that's a minimum potential earning of £79 a year, without much effort. Then of course I receive the occasional questionnaire to complete - usually receive about £2.50 for these, but these are quite time consuming and I don't much like doing them.

By November last year I had about £70 accrued, of which I redeemed £60. you don't get cash, you get vouchers, so I got the following:

£30 Debenhams vouchers - that I gave to my brother for Christmas!!
£20 Next vouchers - with which I bought a gorgeous blue skirt.
£10 Argos voucher - with which I bought the new toilet seat that I was moaning about in a previous post!

So, if you get a voucher from me next Christmas - you'll know how I've earned it!

http://www.shopandscan.com/

To quote the retailer who's taking over the world - Every Little Helps!!

Para xx

The Gorgeousness that is MM2 ...

... was very nearly obliterated in the early hours of this morning by the halfwit driver who is Para!

Well, not really - but I do like a bit of drama!

Went to the cinema, watched Sunshine - we weren't overly impressed! It was a late showing and so by the time we got back over this way it was nearly two in the morning.

A combination of tiredness, amusement at being spoken to in Polish, and concern over the car that was two inches behind me, meant that I completely failed to see both the mini-roundabout and the taxi driver who was driving over it.

Fortunately MM2 was quick witted enough to pull on my handbrake - it was just as well I'd had the car serviced and the dodgy brakes fixed this week!

Thanks MM2! (For both coming to the pics with me and for saving my little car from being crumpled!!)

Para xx

Mr Nigeria

I like people. I love meeting new people. But the events of the past couple of years have made me a bit wary of them, however I seem to be getting over this and am enjoying meeting and chatting to new people.

So, I joined this site - a friendship site, not primarily a dating site - and I've chatted to a few people (and I met Mr LD through it).

So, I get chatting to this bloke whose profile says that he lives in Elgin in Scotland. We chat on Messenger and he tells me he's been working in Nigeria for the past four years. It becomes apparant to me that English is not his first language - although he insists it is.

I quiz him about the Scotland connection and he tells me that his parents came from there, that he was born in London and that he'd spent some time in America.

We swapped phone numbers and he rang me - and it was very very clear that English isn't his first language. I just couldn't understand him. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable about the whole thing and texted him telling him so and asking him not to contact me. This was about two weeks ago. And he's called me frequently since then, although I haven't picked up the phone.

This evening he's phoned seven times in the space of about 10 minutes. I've texted him and said that if he wishes to speak with me, I'm online. But I've heard nothing.

So I'm not altogether sure what that's all about - you'd think he'd have given up by now! And, I've just logged onto the website and tried to look at his profile - it's been blocked for activities that go against the T&C! So obviously I'm not the only one he's been harassing!

Oh well, makes life interesting I suppose!

Para xx

I Need A Man!!!

And not in the way you think!

Yesterday I was asked what I missed about being on my own. What I don't miss is going to sleep with someone snoring and farting beside me (I've enough problems with that myself thank you very much!) But what I do miss is waking up with someone, you know that lovely kind of snuggly waking up where you have toasty, musky sleepy cuddles and stuff. Sigh ...

But today I need a man for a different reason! Grrrrrr, sometimes it's a pain being female! I've really struggled with a big bag of sand (I don't know why I have a big bag of sand - I just do) and I also can't put my new toilet seat on. Damn these weedy wrists! I need muscles!

Anyway, on a lighter note - MM2 and I are going to the pictures tonight. To see Sunshine. I guess it's almost sort of like a date, in a very strange, peculiar non-date kind of way! Anyway, whatever, it's bound to be fun - things always are with MM2 :-)

Para xx

Gone With the Wind ...

... with apologies to Lurking for nicking that!!

OK, so probably round about November time, I saw a message on a message board somewhere asking whether anyone had a problem with flatulence.

Well, I'm sorry guys, but I do! Most people who know me also know that I go and have regular colonics because I've suffered from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) for about 15 years. I'm afraid I can do the loudest, most foul smelling farts known to mankind! I'm a martyr to my digestive system me!

Anyway, I replied and never thought I'd hear back - but I did! A TV company were thinking of making a documentary about flatulence. So I met the lovely researcher and she filmed me, and apparantly they quite liked me back at the TV company. They must be quite bonkers or desperate or both!

But it's all gone a bit quiet at the moment - both on the farting and the TV front!

With my current wonderful diet of two Fudge bars and a bowl of cereal a day, I ain't farting so much!

The lovely researcher left the TV company - but there's another lovely researcher who rings me up and has a chat. It's very odd talking to a complete stranger about your farting habits! And I suspect she knows a little more about my personal life than she'd really care to! Haven't heard from her for a couple of weeks - but I'm sure she'll be on the phone soon!

So, folks, I shall let you know if and when the programme goes out - good job it's not smellyvision!

Para xx

PS - for the sake of NG, I would just like to point out that today i have eaten a bowl of Cheerios, a small box of popcorn and some chicken nuggets and chips!

Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun ...

... is not something I ever expected to do in the classroom.

For some strange, bizarre reason I actually quite like this student. There's a bit of a spark to him, he'll do well in life - I always like the bad 'uns me!

He was excluded from college last year for behavioural problems. If the truth be known, he was only excluded because one of the teachers - a manager - couldn't deal with him. He was a foundation level student and this manager had spent the previous 10 years teaching adults, lovely lady, but little idea on how to relate to teenagers.

So, this year he wanted to come back. I was quite happy to have him back in class and both myself and one of the support workers wrote supporting letters to the Principal. He was accepted back onto the course on the condition that he showed 'exemplary behaviour' - and that he would be excluded at the first sign of trouble.

So, one Tuesday morning during Autumn term, I'm sat at the desk taking the register and in walks this particular student. "Morning Para," he says and I turn to greet him - only to be faced with the barrel of a gun about an inch from my face. The look of sheer horror and panic on my face obviously scared him and he took it away from my face shouting "it's not real, it's not real".

Shaking, I took the object from him and went to find my line manager. She removed the student from the class, but 20 minutes later, he returned and handed me a note. An apology letter. That was it - all he had to do was write a letter of apology. And I am expected to carry on as if nothing has happened.

The subject of that lesson was hobbies. Students have to make a list of their hobbies for their assignment. This particular student's hobby? 'Shooting people'.

The object I was handed by the student was clearly not an actual gun; I subsequently discovered that it was the end of a pellet gun - but when it's so close to your face, there's not the time to make such a distinction.

It's strange, but with everything else that's going on in my life, this incident was pushed to the background. It's only in the past few weeks that I've started to be affected by it. I have nightmares of looking down that barrel. It makes me feel scared to go into a classroom again; it highlighted how vulnerable we are within the college and also the lack of respect we are afforded by our management.

And the student? Well, along with others in the class he was fast-tracked through his Key Skill qualifications as the Key Skill teachers were unable to cope with their behaviour, and by them achieving their qualifications early they no longer had to attend the Key Skill lessons. Us mainstream teachers just have to deal with the behavioural issues with no management support. So, this student was sent a letter of congratulations by the Principal, praising him for his good behaviour and achievement! Despite the fact that he has a dozen or more concern forms, and despite the fact that, to all intents and purposes, he held a gun to my face.

Does someone want to tell me why I should go back to work?

http://www.tes.co.uk/2344814 This is me.

Para xx

My Bedmate ...

... is a rather cute cuddly little toy dog, called, erm, Dog!

Yes, I know, I'm way too old to be sleeping with a cuddly toy. But the truth of it is that I can't sleep without him!

When I was a child I had a toy rabbit that I slept with. Apparantly I'd suck one ear and flick the other. Then, when I'd sucked away all of one ear, I sucked the other and flicked the stump! But I always slept with him under my cheek. He eventually became known as Scabby Harry - cos he did become rather scabby looking. He's still with me, but for hygiene's sake he's now in a box in the loft!

In the past ten years I've had a beanbag frog, but that had to go after it split in the middle of the night. And Dog's been my night time companion for the past four or five years. Unless he's under my cheek - I just can't get to sleep!

Hubby was used to it! MM1 often lies on it, but doesn't mind if I put him under my cheek when we're having a cuddle. MM2 actually has thrown it out of bed (naughty MM2!) Mr Lorry Driver refused to allow me to bring him to bed with me and, sadly, Dog never made acquaintance with Mr Hypnosis :-(

See, for all I'm a bit of a tart, I'm still really a big softy!

Para xx

MM1 and Wife Shocker

Bet you're thinking he's left his wife for me or something!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!

This has been going on for 18 months now and not once has he ever mentioned his wife.

Until last night.

It was funny, cos he was just talking to me about local politics when he told me about an incident that had happened at home involving his wife - and it was only when he came to say "my wife" that he must have realised that he doesn't talk about her to me and he kind of stumbled over the words! Bless!

He is a sweety! He told me off for going to see Mr LD and for putting myself at risk. "If you wanted a shag, why didn't you call me?" That's the whole point - I didn't go over there to just get a shag! I know I can get one over here anytime I want - it was supposed to be something more.

It's very strange though, often when we're in bed I have to stop myself telling him that I love him. Not that I do actually love him - although I'm very fond of him - it's just that I can't believe you can experience something so amazing with someone you don't actually love!

Para xx

The Trouble with Tarot Card Readings ...

... is that maybe you start seeing things that aren't there! Or, maybe that's the whole point - cos that then opens up opportunities for you!

For example, yesterday morning I decided to go swimming. I'd completely forgotten about the content of the tarot reading until I noticed a maintenance van pull up outside my home. It was the man who'd come to fix my dripping tap (not that he'd made an appointment, mind you).

"Although….I would say you will meet them with something to do with water."

This part of the reading immediately sprung to mind! Maybe this was him - the man of my dreams! Maybe he'd come to fix my tap!

I opened the door - naaaaaa, it definitely wasn't him!

So off I go for a swim and I'm talking to J who works at the gym, before I go to the pool, and a quite attractive man starts talking to us about a particular piece of equipment. There was definitely a little 'something' there. Hmmmm, very nice thinks I.

So off I toddle to the pool. After about 20 minutes someone gets in the pool, but I'm so away with the fairies I don't notice who it is! He swims up and down, way too quickly for me to see for sure, but I'm convinced it's the bloke I'd been talking to earlier.

Anyway, I go and sit in the steam room, knowing that he'll come to the steam room too - just one of them feelings. And sure enough he did, and we had a bit of a natter. Very pleasant man. Very attractive.

Maybe this is it! Maybe this is the water connection! But then again, maybe it's not and I'm just imagining it because of the tarot reading!

Anyway, I went to the gym today and exchanged pleasantries with him - turns out he's attached, so no hope there then!

I know, I know - you're probably thinking 'Para, when has that ever stopped you before?' But it has, on a number of occasions. I know I've got the Married Men - but that's different - I just can't explain why!

Para xx

Tarot Card Reading

So, I had me Tarot cards read

http://www.tes.co.uk/section/staffroom/thread.aspx?story_id=2355754&path=/Marketplace/

CAREER SPREAD

Is the career I have chosen what I really want?
Well not really or rather you thought it was but it hasn’t turned out how you thought it would. It's hard for you to really answer this question properly because of the way you are feeling. It's like the rug has been pulled from under you and the reasons you went into teaching in the first place are a distant memory. It may well have been what your really wanted but seriously not any more. However I would say you are not in the right frame of mind to make this decision.

What steps can I take to improve my career?
It appears that there is a younger female that is around you that is causing trouble. Maybe this person is draining too much of your energy or maybe they are just too negative towards you. It's like they hold all the power and even the slightest comment from them goes too deep in you. You should stand up to this person…well maybe not confront them but ignore what they are trying to achieve against you.

The way to improve your career regards troublesome children…this could either be don’t take them on or on the other hand go and work in a behaviour place.

Are there aspects to my career I cannot change?
No. there are no aspects to your career you cannot change. It is not too late to make the changes. I wonder how long you have been teaching because this card suggest that there are many other opportunities for you and you don’t have to stay where you are or even doing the job that you are doing.

Do I feel I am doing my best in my career?
No. You really don’t like yourself for this. It’s like this career has brought out things in yourself that you don’t like. This is a wake up call card where you realise things about yourself that you don’t like. But this is good...because it then gives you the chance to make the changes.

What changes can I make personally that will help my career?
Err…an odd card here…I would say it means lighten up. Fall in love. Sort out the romance side of your life and it will be better for you.
It could also mean that this is what it’s going to be…you have seen the job and the best that it could be already. (This may be good though…think whether you feel the job is good or not or whether it is your present circumstances that are leading to the doubts.)

What blocks in my past are affecting my career?
There are blocks from the past that are still with you now. Although the cards suggest that you are going through big changes at the moment where you are able to get rid of loads of stuff from the past that you have been carrying around with you. Now is the time to move on. You appear to be carrying too much from the past. Leave it alone and move on.

Outcome?
Boredom it’s like you are too bored with what you feel is happening for you to actually see what is really out there for you. Just around the corner are good opportunities. You need to make sure that you look up and look around to see the opportunities that are coming your way.

A NEW LOVER READING

I felt in this reading that you yearn for the excitement and should be careful not to get involved with someone that just feeds your lack of excitement. The right person is around for you and it won’t necessarily be the next one…but they are around now for you…you are near each other you just don’t know about each other.

Will there be a new relationship for me soon?
Well you certainly don’t think there will be a new relationship for you soon. It’s like you are plodding along…with blind folds on not know what you are doing or where you are going. I would say there are things you need to sort out in yourself before you are able to have a new relationship.
Although….I would say you will meet them with something to do with water.

What astrological sign will this person be?
Not sure either here…I would say they are possibly Taurus but it’s not that clear.

Will we be compatible?
Not really. There is boredom here. It’s like you meet someone and through the lack of any other better offers you are with them. However it is important that you look around all the time because the one for you is around you now you just don’t see them. (Nor do they see you) when you eventually meet you will realise that you have been around each other before.

Will this be a lasting relationship?
Yes. It’s a lovely relationship that will last time for you.

Will this person be my soul mate?
Yes although you may think they are a little too stubborn and boring but really they are just what you need. You need the grounding affect and this is what this person will give you.

What is the outcome of my desire?
Lovely.

Para xx

I Didn't Get the Job :-(

However, the interview did give me a confidence boost!

The job was with a local training provider and involved going into local secondary schools and getting students to think about what they wanted to do after leaving school. The idea was really to try and 'sell' them the idea of Apprenticeships.

Sounded a good job. But the pay was crap. £10k less than my current salary.

I really hit it off with the interviewer, she was great. And she said that I'd interviewed brilliantly. So after so long being told how crap I am at work, it was good to hear someobody have something positive to say about me!

Am thinking of dropping her a line thanking her for the confidence boost!

Have sent off another application form this week, so fingers crossed for this!

Para xx

My Tattoo

The teeniest tiny tattoo!

Not a very Para-like thing to do really. However, both me and my brother were going to get one done at Millennium, we were gonna buy each other one - but we wimped out!

So, having gone through the traumas of the past two years, this is an affirmation to myself that, yes I've been let down by people that I love in the worst possible way, but actually - I'm a good person, I love me even if those dozey buggers who've let me down don't!

It's a heart - and when I catch a glimpse of it in the mirror, or when I'm in the shower or getting dressed, it makes me smile. It makes me feel strong.

And I need to feel strong.

Para x

Mr Lorry Driver

So, Mr Hypnosis's loss could be Mr Lorry Driver's gain then? I think NOT!!

OK, so I went against all security advice and met Mr LD at his home. Having spent a great deal of time on the phone to him during the previous week I wasn't unduly concerned about my safety as he came across as a very down to earth, honest and trustworthy bloke. And when I expressed my concerns to him, he very understandingly suggested giving a friend his details - home phone number etc as back up. Which I did.

Toyboy rang me to check I'd got there alright (70 miles away); friend texted to check on me; little brother texted and called frequently (although at one stage when I didn't respond he was going to ring 999, despite me having told him only to do so if I said the code "I need chocolate"!!!)

And in person Mr LD was exactly as he was on the phone, pleasant, good to chat with, down to earth and easygoing. He has his insecurities and his issues - but then again, don't we all? But he's good company and a lovely personality.

Then things got a little steamy (as they always seem to do with me) and I think that really, that's where we became totally incompatible! I'm used to being in control, I like feeling as though I have an equal role to play - not that I'm just some plaything. I'm used to tenderness and affection and not the feeling that someone's doing this, not because they actually want to - but more because they have a need to, like they've an itch to scratch, not that they actually enjoy it.

It's a shame, cos he's a nice, decent bloke and at the least I would have liked for us to be friends.

Oh well, off to bathe and soothe my sore body!

Para xx