Looking Down the Barrel of a Gun ...

... is not something I ever expected to do in the classroom.

For some strange, bizarre reason I actually quite like this student. There's a bit of a spark to him, he'll do well in life - I always like the bad 'uns me!

He was excluded from college last year for behavioural problems. If the truth be known, he was only excluded because one of the teachers - a manager - couldn't deal with him. He was a foundation level student and this manager had spent the previous 10 years teaching adults, lovely lady, but little idea on how to relate to teenagers.

So, this year he wanted to come back. I was quite happy to have him back in class and both myself and one of the support workers wrote supporting letters to the Principal. He was accepted back onto the course on the condition that he showed 'exemplary behaviour' - and that he would be excluded at the first sign of trouble.

So, one Tuesday morning during Autumn term, I'm sat at the desk taking the register and in walks this particular student. "Morning Para," he says and I turn to greet him - only to be faced with the barrel of a gun about an inch from my face. The look of sheer horror and panic on my face obviously scared him and he took it away from my face shouting "it's not real, it's not real".

Shaking, I took the object from him and went to find my line manager. She removed the student from the class, but 20 minutes later, he returned and handed me a note. An apology letter. That was it - all he had to do was write a letter of apology. And I am expected to carry on as if nothing has happened.

The subject of that lesson was hobbies. Students have to make a list of their hobbies for their assignment. This particular student's hobby? 'Shooting people'.

The object I was handed by the student was clearly not an actual gun; I subsequently discovered that it was the end of a pellet gun - but when it's so close to your face, there's not the time to make such a distinction.

It's strange, but with everything else that's going on in my life, this incident was pushed to the background. It's only in the past few weeks that I've started to be affected by it. I have nightmares of looking down that barrel. It makes me feel scared to go into a classroom again; it highlighted how vulnerable we are within the college and also the lack of respect we are afforded by our management.

And the student? Well, along with others in the class he was fast-tracked through his Key Skill qualifications as the Key Skill teachers were unable to cope with their behaviour, and by them achieving their qualifications early they no longer had to attend the Key Skill lessons. Us mainstream teachers just have to deal with the behavioural issues with no management support. So, this student was sent a letter of congratulations by the Principal, praising him for his good behaviour and achievement! Despite the fact that he has a dozen or more concern forms, and despite the fact that, to all intents and purposes, he held a gun to my face.

Does someone want to tell me why I should go back to work?

http://www.tes.co.uk/2344814 This is me.

Para xx