My Insecurity ...

... it does my head in.

How do I stop it?

This blog doesn't bloody help either. I'm very aware that I come across as the world's biggest tart and as having a very active sex life with a variety of different men.

But, in reality it's not actually like that! I mean, I'm not saying that anything on here is untrue, it's just that readers often focus on just the rude bits and not on the other bits - which are equally as much a part of my life!

So then it worries me that any potential man in my life could just see me as just a shag. And nothing more. And this is what makes me insecure.

I'm insecure about the way I look as it is, but then I think that I can't be all that ugly cos Mr Hypnosis was very handsome, Biggles was very good looking, and MusicMan is so unbelievably cute. Mind you, he's a man - he's not gonna like being called cute. Erm, let me think of another adjective that adequately describes him. Hmmmm. And I'm thinking lookswise here, cos I could say funny and kind and stuff like that (which of course he is). But cute just about does it I reckon!

But I do just get this panic in my head that no-one's ever gonna like me for being ME. And I'm not sure anymore how to tell if someone likes me for being me, or because they just want to shag me!

How did I manage to get to this age and not work that one out? Although, having said that I've married both the men I've had long term relationships with - so I've not had the opportunity really to figure it out!

Answers on a comment please!!

Para xxx