Last weekend when I was driving southwards, I felt so free, I thought "I wanna move". Not necessarily down south, which is what my pal J automatically assumed when I mentioned this to her, but anywhere. (I think she was secretly thinking 'yaaaaaay, a babysitter!!')
I feel like a bit of an adventure. I feel like going somewhere where I can be me again, where no-one knows anything of my past life. You know, a bit like they do in Emmerdale and Corrie when crap happens to them - they just get in a taxi and go!
Now, I'm not going to be that spontaneous - that's a tad too drastic even for me! But I could go anywhere, couldn't I? New environment, new people, new work. Hmmm.
Someone said to me last week about us all having our own prisons. And maybe living here's mine. I love it here. I love my little house, I love the surroundings, I love people being friendly with me in the village, whilst not being intrusive. But I think too much has gone on whilst I've lived here - and it's probably best to move on elsewhere. I even want to get rid of all my furniture, which is a bit mad!
I have been thinking it's the situation with my job and soon-to-be-ex-hubby that's hemmed me in, and I guess they have - both situations have kind of 'defined' me in a way. Maybe this house is also part of my personal prison, despite loving it here.
I got to thinking about this again today as I received a letter about negotiations for a settlement from work. It's scary to think that chapter of my life will soon be over, yet there's also a sense of relief. And then there's anxiety about having to go back in to work to collect all my things. Wouldn't trust anyone to get them for me - and I'm sure half my resources have probably been nicked as it is! That's going to be an emotional few hours.
But where would I go? This needs further thought! Advice would be welcome!
Anyone need a lodger?!
Para xx
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6 comments:
Hi Saintly Para
I understand your current predicament with your home and former career and soon to be ex husband, very similar situation to my own as you know but I would urge caution not to make a rash decision to leave the village you love. I would advise getting all the legal strife finished and then after a month or two seeing how you feel and if at that point a move is prefered then do so. Bye the way I do have a couple of spare rooms ha ha.
Howy
*wonders when she became saintly*
Thanks Howy!
You did tell me you were from ST Helens
Howy x
Oh yeah - I see now!
i you wanna wander go for it Para......let your minfd extend to the world. oick up a pin and stab it in the map,then go...........at least you wil have got there!
paul
With all them typos - that's gotta be Oldy!
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