Waking Up ...

... it's a good thing to do! Especially when you consider the alternative!

I enjoyed waking up this morning - which might seem a strange comment to make, but it made me remember that I haven't always felt like that!

Following my suspension from work and the realisation of what Jem had done to me I developed a number of strange psychological symptoms over which I had no control. I think I've already written about them, but they included panic attacks; being afraid of being around people I didn't know; a fear of alcohol and pubs and drunken people; not being able to drive anywhere other than Asda or me mum's! And the worst one of all was the images that appeared in my head as I woke up. They were so horrible that I can't write about them and the only person I've ever told what they were is my counsellor.

My symptoms have subsided now - I'm better at pubs, I've not had a panic attack for six months - and I can drive to places I don't know now!! And I'm enjoying meeting new people - OK, maybe I've gone a bit overboard on that one, but am making up for lost time!

And I've not had the horrible images when i wake up for a long time - and I've only just realised!

That's because I had a lovely image in my head when I woke up this morning! It was an image of a smiley faced, curly haired person asleep on me! Which was very very pleasant, I have to say!

Para xxx