... I've been desperately wanting a baby.
I did my teacher training so's I'd be able to support a family and spend time in the hols with them.
I grieved over babies I wouldn't have and got used to living life with a vital part missing. And I've wandered through life without much of a purpose. Although I've never fully got used to how useless you feel if you're not a mum.
And finally there's a man who'd make a fabulous dad for my babies and then I get pregnant and I can't even manage to keep hold onto just one of them. How useless does that make me feel now? Even though being pregnant made me very tired and feel very ill, at least I had a purpose and I felt more whole. Now I just have a big hole again. And I'm fed up of having a big hole and bimbling along in stupid job after stupid job just because I don't have something more worthwhile doing.
Para xxx
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1 comment:
hey para.......you can work it out, You have a loving man and thats a lot.
I do hope your desire comes true soon.
oldssomeman
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